6 Mind Hacks On How To Ease Your Fears When You Go Out In Public

Does anyone else share the irrational fear that you might see someone you know when you are running your daily errands? Dun dun dun.

Lately, I have been noticing that every time I go out in public – I suddenly become worried. It’s funny because as I have grown older my fear keeps growing. I used to be so carefree and open to spontaneous conversation.

Now here I am – lacking confidence.

It could be the fact that I live in a small town so the likelihood that I will see someone I know is about a 50/50 chance.

OR, it could be that the risk of seeing old faces may bring up not so great memories – the memories that make me feel vulnerable.

OR, it could be that I’m worried about my physical appearance and I don’t think “I look as good as I used to.”

OR, it could be this new generation of lazy social skills and “I want to hide behind my phone.”

Whatever it is, it all stems from a complete lack of courage.

OH, and it’s completely self absorbed.

So, how do we stop becoming selfish cowards?

I wrote a little list of mind hacks you could try out to push that fear away and go out and buy your darn groceries with inner security:

Hack #1) Remember the acronyms:

F.E.A.R = False Evidence Appearing Real. and F.E.A.R = Forget Everything And Run.

Ask yourself, is this fear based on something real and where is it really coming from?

Once you feel that fear, start moving, start walking. Heck, start RUNNING to the post office. You might forget you even had any fears.

Hack #2) Beat them to the punch and say “hello” first

As soon as you see someone you know, be the first to say hi. It can be a game you play with yourself. Chances are they are feeling awkward too and nothing breaks the awkwardness better than just being the one to break the ice first.

They might pretend that they didn’t recognize you – but I call BS on that lol.

Doing this holds yourself accountable as well as them. Who knows, maybe they would’ve tried ignoring you if you weren’t the first to say it. 😉

Hack #3) Before you embark on your errands, ask yourself this: When I go to sleep tonight, what cringey thoughts do I NOT want rolling around in my mind?

I struggle alot with this. In the waking hours of every day life I am thinking – meh, this won’t be such a big deal if I just look down at my phone while I walk pass this person.

Then at night time I am being eaten alive by “why the heck didn’t I just look up and smile?”

I know you might be thinking, “but yeah what if I have an awkward conversation and THAT actually causes me to have cringey thoughts at night?”

Here is the difference, one actually grew your confidence even if it was awkward – and the other made you look like a little weakling.

You choose which one you would rather be.

Hack #4) You probably know this “intellectually” – but they are just thinking about themselves too.

Everyone is truly living in their own version of the world, with their own mind at the centre of it.

I know we would like to believe that people are completely selfless and they are always thinking about everyone else’s problems rather than their own. But the likelihood they are is extremely low (unless it’s someone they deeply care about).

They have their own worries, insecurities, and problems. And to them, those things feel ALOT bigger than whether or not you came along in the one second of their day and said “hi.”

Think about it this way, if you give someone a friendly smile and a “hows it going?” – that might actually make them forget about their problems for a minute. I know it does when someone does it to me.

Hack #5) Don’t bring your phone with you

Yes, I know you might need it for emergencies. But as much as possible don’t even give yourself the temptation to take out your phone – it’s nothing but a crutch in most cases.

If I need to go into a store, I just leave my phone in my locked car.

Every now and then I’ll forget my phone at home when I go to work. I feel a slight bit of fear at first and then I forget about it very quickly.

Not having your phone forces you to be in the moment, and it doesn’t give you a “lazy way out.”

Hack #6) Ask yourself another question – Do I want to have any weird or funny interactions today?

This takes the pressure off of needing any spontaneous interactions to be completely perfect and positive.

Usually the more adventurous types like these questions:
What if you have an awkward conversation with someone? What if something strange happens? What if I learn something about someone or myself that I didn’t previously know?

What if thats actually kinda cool and makes a funny story?

This may cause you to actually pay more attention to the “funny” that is happening around you all the time.

The biggest thing to remember is to open yourself up to any and all possibilities. And to not let the False Evidence Appearing Real hold you back.

An ordinary day can be sprinkled with charm and wonder just by one single “hello” or “goodbye.”

Claire Maendel

Courage to Learn