I discovered this thing, it’s a very powerful secret. It’s called…. SHUTTING YOUR MOUTH MORE OFTEN.
I know what you are thinking – she isn’t shutting up if she is blabbing on a blog post.
But I’ve waited long enough to speak, so hear me out….
This is coming from a woman who has LOVED to speak her whole life.
I’ve always felt growing up that I needed to be heard, and needed to have a “say”. I always thought I needed the last word, and if I didn’t feel like I was being heard – I would yell louder.
Then I started maturing (a little bit)…
Now, am I suggesting you should never use your voice? Absolutely not. We have enough censorship going on in the world, and we don’t need more of it.
But, as I always do in my writing – let me explain in point form why shutting up more is AMAZING:
1) Being quiet means your words can’t be used against you at a later date
You know those moments you look back and think – “ugh why did I say that?”
Yeah, when you shut up more often, you have way less of those moments. It’s incredibly peaceful.
Oh, and the best part – nobody else can say “remember when you said that stupid thing to me?” – It’s great.
2) Being quiet helps you develop astounding patience
You know that feeling when someone else is speaking and everything in you wants to interrupt and speak your mind? Yep, you can actually develop more patience for other people and yourself when you just wait it out. Developing your patience in any area of your life is the key to more contentment.
3) Being quiet develops your self control
Every time I feel the impulse to speak – shutting your mouth may be a better choice. It feels like this little nudging jolt in my body. It’s almost like I am denying an addiction.
But once you don’t give into that desire repeatedly, the impulse goes away and you feel a lot stronger as a result. (Point 2 is very much connected to this one).
4) Being quiet means you get more time to think about what TRULY needs to be said
Imagine this, something happens in which you get that knee jerk reaction to say something back immediately. What would happen if you tried responding with absolute silence? What would happen if you walked away and waited for an hour to speak again?
Imagine, just how much more the words you say again might actually mean something when you do decide to speak.
5) Being quiet lets other people imagine what you might be thinking, and being mysterious is fun
If I am ever in a room full of people, I usually start to tune out the one who is talking too much – I already know what he or she is up to. I seem to be more curious about the quiet ones. This could be due to the fact that us human’s are more curious about what we don’t know than what we do know.
But ask yourself, what would you rather be – that annoying chatty Kathy or the one who only speaks when the time is right. Which sounds cooler?
6) Shutting your mouth can help you observe and learn more than if you were busy talking
6) Being quiet can help you observe and learn more than if you were busy talking
(Hint: it’s called LISTENING)
Once I started shutting up more, I started to open up more capacity to bring my surroundings in. I wasn’t distracted with what I was going to say next, but rather what can I SEE next? What can I observe next?
I started to exit out of the dialogue, and started to watch the movie unfold instead.
7) Being quiet actually helps other feel like they could trust you
This might be self explanatory, but if you have a lot of self control, you are a good listener, and you use your words in an “exclusive” manner. People are more likely to see you as someone trust worthy.
If you are a person who enjoy’s the art of shutting up and someone confides in you, they will be less likely to feel like you are going to spread the word to everyone. Being someone trustworthy is so precious and special.
. . . . . .
And that’s all I wanted to speak on today.
Love,
This post was inspired by:
Jordan Peterson
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