Feeling trapped. Looking at the clock… Looking at the clock again…
Wondering how people can actually do this for 20 plus years of their life.
Then also thinking, those people are the real heroes… I’m just the loser who can’t stick to one thing in my life.
Thinking – I’m a horrible person and someone else deserves this job more than me.
But I can’t just quit my job – I’m an adult now with bills to pay.
Starts googling: “How long do you have to stay at a job for in order to not look like a complete flake of a person?”
Then starts feeling dread because it’s only been 6 months…
Does this sound at all familiar to you?
Well I know this feeling…. SO intimately.
Is it true that this new generation is to blame for “not sticking it out anymore” when it comes to work?
Yes. There is definitely some truth in that.
However, we live in different times – faster times. So the growing consensus is that if you hire a younger person – expect that their time may be limited.
I’ve always deeply admired people who have stayed in one job their whole life (or at least stayed in one career field).
But… clearly you have a nagging suspicion that you aren’t going to be one of those people.
What if I told you that there is a chance you might need to just accept this about yourself.
What if there is a lesson to be learned in sticking with something. WHILE there is also a lesson to be learned in leaving something….
Here are six things that could possibly help you feel a little more “free” when you are feeling like you are in prison at work:
1. Remember : Literally all things in life are temporary.
Your husband or wife will pass away (or maybe you).
Your money will come and go.
Your body will age.
Friends and co-workers come and go.
Constantly thinking about your feelings about being in this prison can only make things worse. Zoom out a little bit and look at the big picture.
2. If you were to look back on this job 10 years from now, what is the deeper lesson in this experience?
Absorb this quote: “One day, in retrospect, the years of suffering will strike you as the most beautiful.” – Sigmund Freud
Don’t you remember when you just started this job in your first week and you were all enthusiastic and ready to learn anything?
And then slowly, but surely you started to think – “why am I here?”
Every person you meet, and every position you have in your life is trying to teach you something.
Sometimes it’s about revealing your deficiencies as a person and sometimes it’s about revealing the purpose you have to serve the world (this doesn’t need to be in a grand way either).
Try to keep an open mind about exactly why you are here. Is there a certain skill that you neglected your whole life – only to be faced with this exact skill to finally develop?
Do you struggle working on a team but in this position you are placed on a team that you have to rely on and they rely on you?
Is your relationship to authority figures in your life not the greatest, but yet no matter what position you have you must learn how to submit to authority?
What are you supposed to overcome while you are here?
3. Visualize quitting your job today – what consequences does it have on every aspect of your life?
Take out the pen and paper and write this down:
– How will my future of work potentially look like if I quit this job today?
– Are my closest friends/family going to truly understand this decision? Will it be coming from a truthful place?
– Am I genuinely in my heart of hearts at peace with the idea of leaving this job TODAY?
– This is a no-brainer – am I in a decent place financially?
– What “work” do I still have left to do at this job? What soul searching do I need to do first before I leave?
– Make a list about every task and skill that you learned from this job (and what parts do you love, like, and absolutely despise).
– Do I need to update my resume?
– Will I be finding another job while I am currently in this job? And if I do have another job lined up – did I TRULY do my research on if this new job is going to be more suitable? Or will it be the same crap different pile? (lol).
Now throw the pen and paper away and PRAY about it.
I’m sure there are tons more questions to ask yourself while you are sitting there looking at the clock so just KEEP contemplating. That way, you aren’t just making decisions emotionally.
4. How do you want other people at this job to remember you?
I ask this question because even though it sounds like a selfish question. In some ways it isn’t – it causes you to think about how your actions will either hurt or help people.
You can even relate this to the other question, “What do I want to be remembered for when I die?”
This question is often forgotten when we are in the midst of “hating everything about where I am right now.”
Try to get out of your own head and figure out ways in which you can help the people you are with.
You may think you already know who they are because you decided that you are done with this place anyway.
But try doubting your doubts on this one.
Also, I once had a mentor tell me that it doesn’t matter where you are going or WHAT you are doing – just do your best.
Put your selfish thoughts about how much pain and suffering you are in on the back-burner until you go home. And start thinking “today, I’m going to do my best.”
Because remember, it’s temporary anyway 😉
5. You are valuable. But you are also replaceable.
I always kind of thought this one was a little bit “nihilistic.”
I would always hear crusty people at work that would hate their jobs and they would repeat this to me over and over again (but yet they would complacently stay).
Even though it’s a bit negative. In a way its liberating.
I tend to think of it this way. It’s like you are staying in a job that isn’t the right fit. And somewhere out there, there is actually a person who is more suitable than you are. But you are selfishly taking up that space (for now at least).
Does that make YOU any less valuable as a person?
No, it just means you have more WORK to do (right now, and in future positions).
6. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
You don’t have to figure this all out by yourself. Personally, when I was having tons of struggles with knowing what my “purpose” was – I sought out a career consultant (I used Infinity Career Development and Consulting).
Another thing that helped me immensely was praying for answers. This helps you pause further before making any decisions, and you have to be patient to receive answers.
Final Thoughts:
I tend to think about finding your work in this life similar to finding your life partner.
There are those people who you know that met when they were 18 and BOOM they got married, got the house, had children and never looked back.
Then there are others (like myself) who took years and years of failures to finally find something that suits them. (oh, and you are still figuring it out).
For the ones who take a little longer to figure out your “work.” – Take heart. It’s a PROCESS of failures – and thus figuring out what is in alignment with the gifts God gave you.
And even when you find a job that is more suitable than any other job has been before – it still won’t be perfect.
Just like finding your partner in life. FINALLY finding work that is more suitable to who you God created you to be isn’t supposed to be perfect.
BUT the goal is to have more peace. Not only that you truly did your best in your past work experiences but that with every experience you got a little wiser.
The beginning of wisdom is this: get wisdom. Though it costs all you have, get understanding. – Proverbs 4:7
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