I believe from time to time we all experience this particular phenomenon of fear.
But first, let’s define fear (according to Google):
An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Why is the fear of missing out on something a threat, painful or even dangerous?
It’s because our fears are tied to our beliefs (in the moment). And if we believe we want something other than what we have, then we may experience fear.
Fortunately, we can challenge our beliefs and even change our beliefs completely.
* * *
It goes back to the days when I was seven years old and I feared I wasn’t going to be fed. I was in the back of the car nagging at my Mom to just finally pull into McDonald’s on the way home and buy me food. She rarely would, or she would just say “maybe.”
I always feared “maybe” mean’t “no”.
When I started driving as a teenager I finally got to go to McDonald’s on my own terms.
Then something weird happened.
It wasn’t really that great.
* * *
Sometimes I’ll be scrolling on social media looking at other people scrolling on social media while they are travelling. They will be posting photos of themselves travelling in all these beautiful places.
Then I get this fear that maybe I am missing out..
So I’ll travel through the phone and end up in the same place posting my own photos on social media.
And I realize, it wasn’t really that great.
* * *
There was a time in my life where I had this yearning to move to a different city. I would walk around and think I am never going to grow here. I am never going to experience anything new here. And I had a fear that I was just going to become stagnant.
I decided to express my thoughts to a new friend (ironically) that I had met. I said, “I feel like I should experience being in a different city, I’m worried that maybe I waited too long to try out that experience.”
They responded, “You could be living in New York, LA, Spain, or England. And then you could be living in a basement in your parents house in your hometown. The decision to grow or not is all a choice. It’s all in your mindset.”
Then I realized, maybe it wasn’t that great.
* * *
Some people fight with their spouse, and they think to themselves. “Maybe it would be easier with someone else.” Then, they have this fear that maybe they are missing out on being in absolute bliss all the time in a different relationship. (See 6 Key Insights on What Makes A Relationship Last)
But so often, they come to find out – maybe it wasn’t that great.
* * *
In every single scenario above. My beliefs about missing out were changed.
I’m not suggesting that every time you fear missing out that you shouldn’t go towards that experience.
But what I am suggesting is the possibility that wanting something other than where you are and fearing you are missing out on it, may not be your path to true satisfaction.
And maybe the literal purpose of your nagging fear is to simply go experience the “not that great.”
You might need to experience it, again, again and.. again in order to wake up and realize…
You have everything you need already.
* * *
The grass is greener where you water it,
This post was inspired by:
Anxious Love Coach (Natalie Kennedy)
Related posts: