You can probably guess what this might be about.
You know when people say – “oh that couple is trying right now.”
Okay, the more that I think about this word the weirder it looks.
Why do they even use this word for attempting to accomplish the conception of a baby?
Well it turns out for some couples that getting pregnant doesn’t always happen in the blink of an eye.
Is it possible that YOU constantly thinking in your mind right now how hard you are trying is exactly what is pushing it away? (This concept applies to SO many things in life).
But I know, you are already tired of hearing – “just let it go and it will happen” and “just stop worrying about it.”
Although well intentioned – doesn’t always work for your brain (and consequently your body).
I’m aware there are some people that may have physical problems that could be preventing this process from happening – but there are so many MIND related factors that go into this that I believe we are completely unaware of.
I know you are also probably tired of hearing – “so when is the baby coming?” or “oh well you are probably already pregnant. Right?”
Again, no ill-intent – usually people are just bored and want your reaction for entertainment purposes.
When we started trying I had thought it was going to happen in the blink of an eye.
Doctor Google basically told me how I “should” be feeling and of course I “felt” it.
The illusion of “it” that is.
But then – it didn’t happen. It was just in my mind.
THEN I went on this rampage of “things I can do to help my fertility.”
Guess what? – that actually didn’t help either. It was just another block.
So then I started going worse case scenario and started researching women who are infertile and/or women who struggled for many years to conceive.
In many of the cases I found – the mindset of these women seems to remain consistent.
“We just let it go.” or “we stopped expecting it.”
We also had random encounters with people along the way who had told us – “I just had a child – it took us five years.”
It was like we were meant to hear that. And like God telling us to just calm down and don’t freak out YET. (My husband was also telling me that) LOL
I decided to re-frame “letting go” in my own way. Here are some of the thoughts/actions I set in my mind for the beginning of each new cycle:
“I am going to do ALL the things I can possibly do RIGHT NOW before I am busy with children.”
“I’m going to imagine NOT having children, and what that kind of life looks like for me.”
“I’m going to feel the grief of the idea that I may not have a child. And I am going to fully surrender and accept that.”
“I’m going to set my sights on imagining what God’s plan looks like for me. How does God see my life in regards to family?”
“Every cycle is the chance to be creative – to try something new and different.”
“Every cycle I get a little bit wiser on what is actually going on in my body.”
“Every cycle I am getting stronger because I am learning to have patience – and grace.”
“I thank God that I have a supportive husband who doesn’t worry as much as I do – and has no problem waiting as long as it takes.”
“I don’t need to TRY. I just need to focus on what I already have. And wonder with curiosity what will happen next.”
(I’m a teacher) – “Maybe the sweet children I teach are my version of parenting that I will have in this life.”
“My relationship with my husband gets stronger and deeper the more we go through this together – and thats kind of romantic.” lol
“I’m going to make this a secondary thing, and make my primary focus in life my purpose. Like being a friend, my job, and building connections with others.”
These were the things I focused my mind on. And consequently my body followed suit.
I am happy to say that even though it was a rollercoaster of emotion and re-building my intentions.
It was a short rollercoaster.
My heart goes out to women who have tried and tried and tried for many years. You are a different kind of animal – like a REALLY strong one, WAY stronger than me.
I already felt like giving up only after three months. But hey- that’s actually the trick right?
God has given my husband and I gift – which we are anticipating to arrive in April 2025.
And now I am worrying about the next thing – of course 😉
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